Cunard (Stranded) - Single
Oh my god, how do I even talk about this song?
“Cunard (Stranded)” became the second single in my own head from the minute I got the lyrics down. The music created itself first, though.
I was really bored one day, messing around on Garageband, as I’m wont to do. There’s a lot of pieces of stuff that I wrote during this process that sucked so so bad, but that’s fine, you just mess around and see what sticks. “Cunard” came from nowhere, the beat and the chords and that hook— I couldn’t explain to you how that hook came about but it’s maybe one of my favorites I’ve ever written. And then it sat in my drafts for months. No lyrics, just vibes. I would listen to it and think to myself, Yeah, this is part of the record, but I can’t think of any words for it.
Months later, I was thinking about the holes in Juliana, because sometimes you write something organically but sometimes you really do have something specific to say. And I wanted a song about abandonment, almost like Dizzy’s counterpart. I wanted the lyrics to reflect someone going out and having fun with gritted teeth— despair, anger, pride. I wanted it to be glittery and obsessed with light.
And then, the first lyric that appeared felt like a no-brainer for the record: “We argue in my head.” DUH! Literally, the most recognizable quality of maladaptive daydreaming. A constant rehashing of arguments, a constant anticipation of every potential phrase. There was a moment during the writing process where I did get sucked into a daydream, and the Imaginary Person in the daydream insulted me in a way that made me tear up. I imagined them saying something hurtful to me, and hurt my own feelings. Truly a wild moment for me. So the phrase “We argue in my head” led directly into the idea that some rando hasn’t spoken to Juliana/Beth at all. She assumes their feelings the entire time, and it makes her feel totally abandoned.
But there’s other things going on in the song.
The actual title of the song. “Cunard (Stranded).” Sometimes, the name of a song appears out of nowhere. It’s about the vibes. And there were four or five songs I wrote for Juliana that eventually got cut, about Nancy Cunard. Every song was too sad, or else too… revisionist history? Cunard is a major inspiration for this album, as a former it-girl who couldn’t get her own writing off the ground. She would abuse her romantic partners, cheat on them constantly, obsess over the men who wouldn’t return her affections. She ended up being an early champion for canonizing African-American literature, even though she was a nightmare to work with. I felt defensive of her legacy as such— I didn’t want to paint her as some literary icon, or reduce her to an erratic alcoholic.
I think Stranded reflected some of her intelligence, some of her volatility. Most importantly, “Cunard (Stranded)” gives the impression that the narrator… might be wrong about the situation. I guess sixth time’s the charm.
Shout out to the Aeneid reference: “Ancient Dido’s forfeiture” is a classic. I personally like the phrase “make myself a Molotov".” Does it mean the narrator is setting herself on fire? Is she about to drink lighter fluid? And of course, “If you wanted to you would” is very in vogue right now. I’ll be honest with you, I don’t subscribe to this belief system. But Nancy would have LOVED the phrase, I’m pretty sure. IDK. That’s my parasocial relationship.
And then, of course, “my desire turns you off” is probably my favorite. It’s pretty common, though, for people to associate intense desire with overzealousness. And that’s a shame; how much love have we shut down because it was a little too intense? I’m not saying it’s wrong to walk away from something, but I have regrets, and maybe some of you do too.
